So, about C. (I am not asking anything, but he himself told me a lot – this is what I know): even at the very beginning of our acquaintance, a few years ago, I already knew the general drama – with tears in my eyes: "Think, I have not celebrated the Liturgy for ten years" (is there such a word?).

Talents? Of course – they disappear! Now he has perked up a little and is crawling out of his hole, where his hysterical wife drove him. Two or three people - somehow unexpectedly around him - but no more! — are nourished. Does he remember you? I don't know. There was no speech, but we often talk about you. I was delighted with S. Ch., I copied it by hand for myself, everything at night, that wife is also a philistine - you can't have papers and folders on the table. He teaches at the Institute in his specialty, he is very busy. Recently: "I, fool, had the stupidity to sign, and others..." But he hopes for something – for what? Cul-de-sac! When he is sick, he is treated by fasting, he believes in this treatment. "My fate is not over yet, I must live." But – what?! How?! Daughter, 8 years old, I think. Until the age of 7, she did not speak. Friends in Moscow offered to take him to the institution - to treat him - he refused! I didn't treat it here. Only recently, it seems, "God sent" some doctor – and they are being treated. And then it was like this: I hung around for a month in Moscow, after their drama, they agreed to reinstate her in monasticism, but not in the priesthood (!!) While she was there, she did not eat anything here, smoked, drank and waited. Of course, threats of suicide, etc. When he returned, having seen all this, he "resigned"! But sex for me is not at all... (I said something like that – I don't remember). But "I overestimated my strength" is still about the very beginning of the whole "drama". And she has an adult son from another husband, he lives somewhere in Kyiv. What is surprising about him – how to say – is his steadfastness, for in such situations many renounce "everything", but not at all! He thinks, lives an inner life. In some ways it is very broad, in some ways it is narrow.

Well, it seems that this is all I can answer your question.

When I see it, I will say that you are interested, m. b. will write to you himself. I see him very rarely and little - he is very busy with work, and at home his hysterics "chase on the cord".

My (difficult!) old lady (of my age) – who translated Teilhard – and who did not write the last articles there, is now translating, at my request, a wonderful book "Jesus", the author – "un moine de l'Eglise d'Orient" – is Fr. Lev Gillet (he has recently died), because she likes this book very much (and Teilhard does not!), and besides, C. also tests it a little in specific terms and in general. And he himself (of course, he doesn't know French very well, and she is a professor!) – "le livre sur la priere"[73] by Metropolitan Antonia, although I am not sure that this is not in vain, i.e. that this translation exists somewhere, but all the same – the more, the better, and where can I get it? And for her, it's a great thing not to turn sour.  ----------- 

I take this opportunity to exchange my thoughts on prayer. I remember in every possible way and try to follow your advice about tension, and about caution with it – and now I somehow realized that often even in a healthy tension in prayer (which, nevertheless, on your advice, I also avoid) there is some unnecessary and harmful "adulthood", and it is sometimes successfully defeated, when this tension is relieved, by good childishness – after all, "be like children", to enter the Kingdom of God.

I am just sharing this with you, I do not need to answer. I understand you well.

Very important!

With Isaac and Nina, there was a curse with drying oil!! I send it so!

Если забракуете — скажите Кате или Элле (кто привезет) и я сделаю новую!

Не забудьте!

P. S. Очень интересно, что перед тем как рисовать Елену, мне попался у этой старушки Props[74]— читали ли Вы его? «L’ eglise des apotres martyrs et peres»[75]? точно не помню названия. Но у нее есть его же «Christ en son temps»[76], я читала несколько лет тому назад, и удивлялась, почему в библиографии «С. Ч.» он не упомянут. Немного длинно, но интересно. А эту она мне теперь даст, хотя о Елене я уже у нее все прочла почти и о Константине — интересно и поучительно.  -------------- 

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Дорогая Юлия Николаевна!