Tolstoy A. P., November 24, 1846*

81. A. P. TOLSTOY.

Naples. November 24 <n. st. 1846>

I hasten to write a few lines to you from Naples, where I arrived safely, although after a long journey. Naples is so beautiful and warm. My soul has become so sheltered and bright here that I have no doubt that it will be the same with you if you come here. How you will make your sister happy with your arrival! There are almost no Russians here; calm and warm, like nowhere else. The sun just warms the soul, not just the body. What a difference even with Rome, not only with Paris! I have not yet received any news or letters from Petersburg, but this does not bother me in the least; My soul looks brightly ahead; Everything will be beautiful, because everything will be as it pleases God, and God pleases only what is beautiful and what is good for our soul. Your niece, Nat<Allier> Vlad<Imirovna>*, is much better off against the state in which I saw her in Rome. The air aims, apparently. Write me a word or two about Ivan Petrovitch. I thought I would find him here by now; they worry about him. A fervent bow to the countess. For God's sake, do not forget to write a reply to this letter immediately, and declare everything that happens to you now. I wrote a letter to you from Frankfort*; I don't know if we got it. Your letter, with Ikonnikov's letter attached, came to me in a very strange way, at the moment when I was getting on the road. You say maybe it will come in handy for me. I don't understand in what sense. Ikonnikov advises you to go on a long journey in it. Is this not also your thought? Did you also mean to tell me by this that I should not go to Jerusalem now? Be that as it may, the circumstances are arranged in such a way that perhaps my train will certainly move away for a while. It is still stranger that almost all those people who, like myself, wanted to go this year, had unforeseen delays, some even turned back from the road. In any case, I am in no way guided in this matter by my own will, and I do not stubbornly go against everything, but I await the instructions of God, which will manifest themselves to me in the course of all the circumstances that contribute to my journey. I only know that it will be several <times> better than what the will of God invents, and if you look at yourself intently, you see at the same time that you are still far from being ready for this journey and that it is incomparably necessary to do more than I have done in order to go with the conscience of the deceased on this journey. God's mercy gave me the strength to do one thing, which I did not even think of doing in my weakness, both physical and mental; I believe that it will also give me the strength to do something else that will move me forward, that is, to be ready for the journey. But until the next letter! Goodbye, don't forget to answer.

All your G.

On the back: Paris. Son excellence monsieur le c-te Alexandre Tolstoy. Rue de la Paix, 9. Hôtel Westminster.

Pogodin M. P., autumn 1846*

82. М. П. ПОГОДИНУ.

<Осень 1846 г.>

Ты не поехал в Иерусалим и был прав, принявши за указание встретившиеся препятствия. Когда готово сердце и зовет душу бог на такое дело, тогда не останавливают нас никакие препятствия: несешься весь, как корабль, покорный попутному дыханию небесного ветра. Письмо мое могло иметь значение только в таком случае, если бы <ты>, точно, отправился. Ты говоришь, оно вообще[411] неудовлетворительное, в нем не сказано, в чем проступки Погодина и в чем ему следует исправиться*. Друг мой, я не имею права тебе указывать. Ты мне можешь, потому что об этом я тебя просил. Я просил письмом, назад три года, от вас трех, не только от тебя одного, которого я просил прежде, указать мне всё, что[412] есть во мне низкого, недостойного, — по крайней мере, в том, как оно кажется каждому,[413] если не есть;[414] душа моя желала упреков и указаний; на это письмо не было ответа. Ты — мастер видеть только недостатки в том, кто тебя лично разгневал; в том же, кто на твоей стороне или твоих образов мыслей, ты не видишь никаких недостатков, не в силах и не можешь их видеть, так же, как не можешь видеть и в себе самом.

Шевыреву С. П., 1 декабря н. ст. 1846*