You also need to understand that love is not a precondition for faith. Love is the result, it is the crown of a Christian's life. You need to strive for it, you need to cultivate it in yourself, you need to fight for it.

I have a friend, disabled from childhood, who does not believe in God, because he believes that God should be merciful to people, but it turns out that He is merciless to him, since He punished him from birth with an incurable disease. I am disabled myself and cannot answer this question; Sometimes I think that this is a punishment for my parents or relatives...

It is very difficult to answer such a question without knowing the person's life circumstances. Indeed, very often children's illnesses are the consequences of parental sin, but not always. Let us recall the Gospel account of how the Savior saw a man who was blind from birth. His disciples asked Him, "Rabbi! Who sinned, he or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, "Neither he nor his parents have sinned, but [this for] [that] the works of God may be manifested in him" (John 9:1-3).

There is a main rule that every Christian must observe: to accept everything that the Lord sends him with humility and to try to see God's will for himself in the situation in which he finds himself. Human life is full of sorrows, and almost every person passes the test of a serious illness. There are cases when a perfectly healthy person turns into an invalid in one minute as a result of an accident... Have you noticed that people react differently to their misfortunes? One person accepts trials with dignity and patience, the other with murmuring, despair, resistance, even curses against God and people... I think that even in a purely mundane sense, it will be much easier for the former. As for the Christian life, a believer tries to be ready for anything, knowing that the Lord sends us everything that happens to us for salvation. Many saints were seriously ill during their lifetime, but bore their bodily infirmity, thanking God for it (read, for example, the lives of Seraphim of Sarov, Ambrose of Optina, and, of course, the Biblical Book of Job).

Faith can help a person accept and bear his illness. When a person acquires faith, tries to learn the Orthodox doctrine, then many questions are resolved, and his attitude to life changes.

Please tell me what to do. I feel like a normal person, not deprived of the attention of the female sex. But I have a sin of fornication in my soul, I like to watch films containing the XXX category (especially on the Internet)... He had this kind of "fun" for pleasure with his cousin. I believe in God, I go to church, I resort to saving sacraments. But I do not repent of this in confession – I cannot: I am ashamed... What to do?

You say well: "I feel like a normal person." This is very important. This means that you are well aware of the abnormality, the unnaturalness of the passion that corrodes your soul. One should not be surprised or even horrified by it in oneself, one should not consider it one's own; you must, on the contrary, believe that this is a devilish temptation, in its essence contrary to your nature. In human nature, damaged by the fall, there is the possibility of any sin. But the devil strives to arouse in a person, including a Christian, that passion that is most likely to destroy his soul. He hates the image of God, indelibly imprinted in us, and wishes to abuse it in us, to humiliate man, God's beloved creation. And fornicatory passions and sins, especially those of an unnatural nature, are the best way for him to achieve such a goal. Therefore, wherever the devil has the opportunity to succeed in tempting man with such images and thoughts, his zeal will have no limits.

Unfortunately, in our time, too much serves the enemy of salvation as an aid. People have completely lost not only the fear of God, but also elementary shame. Films, magazines, books with the most perverted content are now generally available and can easily ignite a fire of the most obscene passion in the heart of a person who comes into contact with them from a small smoldering spark. You can see this in this case and in yourself.

What can I advise you? Thank God, you are a believer, and therefore you can seek help in your weakness from God and from His holy Church, which you are partly doing. But here is your biggest mistake: instead of repenting of your sins (real and mental) in confession from a sincere heart, you conceal them, daring to approach the sacrament of Communion. The Lord is very merciful and long-suffering. However, when a person receives the Body and Blood of Christ unworthily, without confessing all his sins, hiding something out of cowardice and not forsaking the sin that is repeated again and again, then the grace of the sacrament can serve him not so much for salvation as for condemnation. In order to prevent this from happening, it is necessary to decide on a sincere, completely frank confession, without concealing anything in it of which your conscience accuses you.

Shame before a priest is a false shame. Yes, of course, a priest is also a human being, and he can be tempted and condemned by his weakness. However, a true pastor will never turn away from a Christian who exposes his spiritual wounds in confession (no matter how unsightly they may be) and asks for their healing. On the contrary, it is towards such a person that he will show the greatest care and compassion.

Full confession will certainly be the most effective step towards spiritual healing for you. But it is also necessary to reconsider one's life as a whole along with confession. Review and remove from it everything that can contribute to the development of passion. Immodest films and books, communication with people who are subject to such sin – all this must be eliminated from your life. At the same time, it is necessary for your Christian life to acquire a more definite, firm character. Regular attendance at church, regular confession, the fulfillment of the prayer rule, attention to one's inner life and the work of self-correction – this is what strengthens the soul, gives strength to fight the sin that tempts it.

You say that you are "not deprived of attention" by girls. Pray that the Lord will send you a good, believing girl with whom you could connect your life by entering into a marriage blessed by the Church; I think this would also help to cope with the current temptation.