The canon "On the Unauthorized Death of Those Who Died" was compiled by Metropolitan Veniamin (Fedchenkov). Even the private reading of this canon cannot be considered a general church practice, and Metropolitan Veniamin himself speaks of this in the explanation that accompanies the publication of the canon. He himself, on the advice of Elder Nectarios of Optina, made an attempt to pray for a suicide in the case when a mentally ill man committed suicide at the Sergius Metochion in Paris, where the future Metropolitan Veniamin was serving at that time. However, usually, when he was asked for a funeral service for suicides and a prayer for them, he refused: "... According to the canons – the rule of Timothy of Alexandria – and according to the inner resistance of my soul." Metropolitan Veniamin ends his explanation with the words: "And may the Lord have mercy on me for such boldness..."

It should also be remembered that Vladyka had the right to boldness in prayer: people who knew him considered him a great righteous man – materials were being prepared for his canonization. But for us, people who have not yet cleansed our hearts of passions, such boldness is impossible and can even be dangerous: there are cases when those who arbitrarily prayed for suicides contrary to the rules of the Church were subjected to severe temptations and even ended their lives in this way. Therefore, I would advise you to trust God and the Church in everything.

With the blessing of the spiritual father, one can read the prayer of St. Leo of Optina about the unbaptized, those who died without repentance, and suicides: it is found in many prayer books. It is no accident that it contains a request for forgiveness of the praying person: "Do not make this prayer a sin for me. But Thy holy will be done."

One can understand the grief of people whose loved ones ended their lives so terribly, and their desire to alleviate the fate of the soul of the deceased. They themselves need consolation and prayer. In such cases, the Church first of all advises us to give alms for suicides – this is the most ancient church custom: its essence is that a person who receives alms prays for those who give it, or for those in whose memory it is given. It is better if this alms are given as help to a really needy, lonely person.

What is the difference between self-reflection, self-criticism, and self-knowledge, sobriety?

St. John in his "Ladder" gives the following advice for beginners: not to be carried away by a subtle discernment of thoughts, that is, by an exaggeratedly thorough analysis of one's inner state and the movements of the soul. Such work requires great spiritual experience and, in the absence of proper spiritual guidance, confuses a person so that he loses any ability to act: he simply finds himself "buried" under the weight of what he himself has "dug up" in his own soul.

Therefore, it is important first of all to struggle with those passions, with those weaknesses and shortcomings that are obvious and "lie on the surface". And when we take up such a struggle, we will see that so much work is needed to overcome one sufficiently pronounced passion that it may require the application of all the forces of a person.

Engaging in shallow self-reflection, you may not reach the real work on yourself. This is the essence of self-knowledge, which comes only with the experience of inner struggle. And sobriety is precisely the necessary prudence that helps a person in his inner battle.

Can a priest demand that a person reveal all thoughts during confession, even those that a person does not accept? If a person does not do this, then Communion will supposedly be condemned. Is this true?

Such a requirement is not only unreasonable, but also harmful. The revelation of thoughts is possible only in monastic life. The parish priest has no right to demand such a confession. In the sacrament of Repentance, it is necessary to reveal only those thoughts that a person cannot cope with, which constantly return to him. And if a person wages an internal battle, cuts off thoughts, then the main meaning of this struggle is to forget and never return to them. What will it be like if a person himself tries to keep in mind from confession to confession all the dirt that has come to his mind during the day, week, month (or even more)?

Therefore, only a person who does not have a clear understanding of the foundations of spiritual life can demand the revelation of thoughts from a layperson. The Holy Fathers said about thoughts: "Their business is to come, and our business is not to receive."